Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize