is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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