Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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