dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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