absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
A+ Viking dick
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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