Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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