I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize