I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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