You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize