in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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