a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
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He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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