You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize