C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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