lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize