it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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