Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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