my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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