he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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