if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
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Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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