woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
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Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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