Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's just like the Real World with babies
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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