i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize