I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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