I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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