I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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