i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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