Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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