thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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