Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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