I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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