Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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