he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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