Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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