last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize