I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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