Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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