why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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