and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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