I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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