Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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