I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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