He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize