i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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