no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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