My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize