Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize