Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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