we're blogging at a bar
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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