i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize