no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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